power in the pause

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
— albert einstein

Yesterday was a day of lost intention. I had planned to finish painting my son's bedroom.. In a week that began with fresh vision and energy, I was sidelined on the second morning with pain washing over me before my feet even hit the floor. I was hopeful that I could stretch and release myself from the grip but that was not going to be the day for me. Instead, I was only able to lie on the bed for most of the day. 

This morning, I am pulling myself out of the quicksand, slow and sluggish, reminding myself to be gentle with my body. All of me deserves the gentleness. It's difficult to reset after a day like yesterday. My mind wants to play in the list of not dones. My heart leans into accepting yesterday as a call to self care. It was a pain induced pause. It was needed. Pauses are necessary. 

In all forms of art, there is power in the pause, in the blank space, in the in-between nothing. A rest here and there make the entirety stronger. In life, we think we most go, go, go and push harder and spend the new energy. Fast forward, break-neck speed, may get us there faster but will it get us there better? 

In my opinion, the pauses will happen. If we don't strategically and artistically place them in our lives, then our lives will force the slowing down, the full stop. Therein is the choice. 

I woke up to that yesterday. I woke up to the forced pause and I realized that I have to create some margin for myself. This is a lesson that I have been learning and re-learning most of my life. I am quicker now to recognize the need.

The truth is that I can pile more and more and more on the the list of things that I want or need to do but the same amount of things get done regardless of my intentions. I only have so much time, energy, and physical capability. Why not be more mindful and create my life to hold what can do and the purposeful pauses? I would much rather have spent my pause taking a long walk or hooping or watching a magical movie. That would have been far more enjoyable than lying on the bed all day because pain demanded it. 

Be aware. Be mindful. Plan the pause.