in limbo

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.
— maya angelou

I am not quite sure how to move into this life of the more.

I have never been here and I don't know what is asked of me.
I don't know how to be.

Myself, I say. Just be myself. 

I wonder if myself will be accepted. 
I wonder if anyone will notice my goddess paintings,
my smudge stick, and my passion for the moon? What will they think?

Here I am with my larger than average sized family three times over.
Here I am with my country ways of being because it's different in the boonies.
Here I am with my strong desire for community and connection.
Will I will be accepted?

All of my unsettled feelings ride the surface of my skin. I am touchy and grouchy. 
My explaining words stumble over each other. 
I just want to be home, at home, home. 

Home is quickly becoming NOT here. 
Home is not yet there. 

I am in limbo.