I am not quite sure how to move into this life of the more.
I have never been here and I don't know what is asked of me.
I don't know how to be.
Myself, I say. Just be myself.
I wonder if myself will be accepted.
I wonder if anyone will notice my goddess paintings,
my smudge stick, and my passion for the moon? What will they think?
Here I am with my larger than average sized family three times over.
Here I am with my country ways of being because it's different in the boonies.
Here I am with my strong desire for community and connection.
Will I will be accepted?
All of my unsettled feelings ride the surface of my skin. I am touchy and grouchy.
My explaining words stumble over each other.
I just want to be home, at home, home.
Home is quickly becoming NOT here.
Home is not yet there.
I am in limbo.