believing in home

A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.
— h. l. mencken

There she is. The house that will become my home. 

I am holding onto that word ... become. It is tempting to want ALL the things in order and perfect before declaring that we are inhabiting our home. No. In the same way, that for the past thirty-one years, I have been becoming a mother and for the last thirty years, I have been becoming a wife, this house will become home. 

As I have grown and changed in all the roles of my life, my home will be a work in progress. A beautiful, evolving, reflection of my family. 

I've spent the better part of this year looking at home decor on pinterest. I thought that my tastes were running more toward the neutrals, the grays, and such. I was surprised by that. Now I realize that my last year has been shrouded in gray. I even changed my wardrobe to all black and gray clothes. What WAS I thinking? I had begun to favor form and function over beauty and color. 

Then I walked into this house and I knew that I was heading home. I will not bore you with a tour but I will show you one photo that captures the color that permeates this home. The green apple color, the buttery yellow, and it calls me to add my own color, my own personality as well as allowing the personalities of my children to show up loud and clear. 

My days are calling for projects. I look forward to releasing my creative energy to show up in my home. We will begin moving in mere days after finishing this 100 day project. Perfect timing. My writing may be less then or I may still need this as an outlet, as a touchpoint of sorts. 

Today on facebook, I wrote: I feel like I am dreaming. I have to keep reminding myself that my life is real. It's that glorious right now.

I will tell you that I struggle with sharing any of this. I wonder if it feels as I am bragging but I am so joyous and I am reveling in how my thoughts have shifted and how my behavior and choices have shifted and thus, how my actions have shifted. I didn't pull this house of of a black top hat ( though sometimes it feels as if I did ) but I did create space in my life, in my mind, in my heart for a different way of being. I truly believe that is the magic. I allow myself to believe, to believe in home.