what's up and what not | v. 10

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.
— gilda radner

The house is full

of people
of noise
of love

and life gives you

opportunities to learn
chances to hold close
moments too fleeting

so today I will 

remember to breathe
say thank you
move slowly

While life is swirling around me, I have been retreating to the studio, finding peace and inspiration in working, in creating things, in dreaming and scheming of possibilities.

I have been creating magical story-book journals:

 

 

 

It all began with this one book. I found it at a library and brought it home to transform into a journal. As I created it for myself, the truths made their way to the surface. Here are things I believe for myself and if you believe them as well, then story-books are created for you.



STORY-BOOKS . . . 

  • because I believe in the power of story
  • because I believe in small containers that create room for expansion
  • because I believe that what you know is hidden between the lines and pages for you to discover
  • because I believe that  a blank pages can be an overwhelming place to start.
  • because I believe that messy and imperfect provide permission for you to show up

STORY-BOOKS are transformed children's books, poetry books, and other books with interesting titles and pages. Generally, there are less than twenty pages per book because I believe that having smaller journals takes the pressure off of having to fill fifty, one hundred, one hundred-fifty pages. And OH the pages ... They are beautifully painted and secret messages are sprinkled throughout. It's a glorious playground for you to explore and discover your own truths. AND THEY WILL BE AVAILABLE SOON! ( hint --- sign up for my e-notes from the banner at the top of the page. You'll get first notification!) 

and I am bringing back a form of the spiritspeak journals I used to make, reborn:

A couple of years ago, I created and sold a small ten page journal called spiritspeak. It was an offering of my own creative practice, my journaling process. When I decided to bring spiritspeak back in zine format, I discovered that in the time of the spiritspeak hiatus, a beautiful tarot project of the same name was created
( follow her on instagram as @spirit.speak ) so I began to explore other titles for my project. Ultimately, the project has evolved into something a bit different but perfect.

 On that particular day, I was sitting with my dog on the back porch. It was his last day with us. At thirteen years old and with congestive heart failure, all signs that week pointed to us making the choice to assist his leaving us. While I was working at the table on the back porch, where he wanted to be, I picked up my pages and started making notes in them about what I was experiencing. I wanted to remember. I wanted to honor. At that moment, an ambulance sounded in the distance and Dobby tried his best at a howl. A simple lowly howl that reminded me that these are the sacred moments and they need to be recorded and shared. 

The idea of re-creating this particular offering came to me on a whim. I've decided to create it for three months before offering it so I can be sure this a project that I want to devote time to (and because I am oh so good at starting things and not as good at following through << true confession) In December, I'll announce the details of purchasing the available zines and (hopefully) subscribing to future issues. Of course, I'll share snippets and snapshots on instagram; check out #alowlyhowl


and all of the work in the studio has been wonderful but one day I had an awakening thought. 

Work is not self-care. Work is work and even though it is work that I love, it is not self-care AND it had become an escape, a way to not be present to life and all that it gives me. This week finds me stepping back into food choices that make me feel well and alive, taking slow walks around the neighborhood ( noticing walks), and preparing for a quick retreat to the beach. We all need the sand and the salty water and different, something different. 


and from the what-not shelf

listening

 

reading

 
 

Reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg was the starting point. Her words were the keys I needed to unlock the cage and release myself as a creative woman. I discovered that I have words to say, paintings to paint, and a creative life to live. I haven't read it in entirety since that first reading in 2000. I picked it up again last month and re-ignited the fire within. 

 

watching

one of the most visually beautiful movies I have ever seen


Tell me. 
What's going on in your corner of the world?
What's keeping you curious?