something that grew fiercely

She was fierce, she was strong, she wasn’t simple. She was crazy and sometimes she barely slept. She always had something to say. She had flaws and that was ok. And when she was down, she got right back up. She was a beast in her own way, but one idea described her best. She was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile.
— r.m. drake

This excavated poem caught my eye when I was scrolling through photos tonight and I am captivated by that last bit of line ... something that grew fiercely. 

Last summer, I wrote:

I am fierce.
I know my wild self, my strength and power.

I am fierce and I want you to know it. 

Do not cower in fear for I do not seek to destroy you.
Can you handle it? Can you stand in the face of my fierceness?
Can you be that strong as well?

For my fierceness is to be celebrated, commemorated,
marked as good and blessed.
Enough of being meek and mild for that is the spiritless way.
I am full of spirit and I go the way of the fierce.

The fierce are a dangerous lot for they have shed the shackles that bound them to propriety.
The fierce ones make a way that cuts through the brambles of conformation.
They howl a truth so pure to the heart that it shatters the glass houses of the indignant righteous.

The fierce stand firm and hold tightly.
The fierce ones know what is worthy of the fight.
They do not give their energy to those who discount the worth of the power they possess.

The fierce love deeply.
The fierce ones understand the paradox that abides within.
They are at once gentle and savage.  

Blessed am I for I am fierce. 

I am reminding myself tonight of that dark and monstrous part of me, that fierce being, because I need to remember how to live like her. I've let some sorrow, some amount of desperation, temper my fierceness. I have tamed my own beast because I forgot the value of her. I forgot that only those who know how to value her deserve her presence. 

Am I outrageous sometimes? Yes. Am I unreasonable sometimes? Of course. Am I oblivious to the path of destruction that follows in my wake? only for a moment. 

The truth is that I am keenly aware of the power of my growl and my bite. The truth is that I have held myself back on many occasions for fear of hurting those I love the most. The truth is that I internalize my own disposition, chewing on my own bones instead. 

The little you see of my fury is little indeed. There is so much more in me. I am learning to direct this fire, to let it burn for good but burn it must. Fierce must be allowed to rise in me and light me up from within. 


Please check out R.M. Drake's Instagram account for more incredible words.