And now my heart starts pounding, the tears well up in my eyes, the fear settles into the pit of my stomach. This doesn't get easier, this revealing of self.
The truth is that I wanted what I cannot give. I wanted to launch the new website this morning, clean and ready, grand welcoming post in tow. I wanted to stage my home. You know what I mean, right? When you are looking for a home to buy, the home is staged to invite you into a perfect setting. I understand that people get paid simply to go in and make a house look as if people live there but not really as if people live there. No wrinkles, nothing on the counters, no mess. It's a selling point. But it's not reality. It's not authentic.
Life is wonderfully messy. I know this. I embrace this. So why did I want to present a cleaned up version on this opening day? Or ever?
I'm not trying to sell you anything. Even when the store opens and I am offering my paintings, poetry, and prints, I am not going to try to sell those to you. I have tremendous trust that what I create will release to who needs or wants it. I don't have to strive.
Still there has been this tension, this worry as I have approached putting the website together because there is a way things are supposed to be done. Oh good goddess. I am so fucking over the way things are supposed to be done. There I've said it. I am done with the status quo, done with doing business as usual. I have a way to be in the world and I have to honor that.
See that tagline up there (under my wonderful logo! I have a guy. If you ever need design work, let me know, I'll hook you up). It says AWAKENING AUTHENTICITY. This idea of releasing spirit from the cage is all about being free to be your authentic self, mess and all. It's all about being ALL of yourself. You don't have to chop yourself up and offer up palatable pieces given the circumstances. You don't have to have it all figured out before you give voice to your ideas.
And you don't have to have the website picture perfect before you launch. ( see what I did there, gave myself a little pep talk while speaking truth to you)
So here I am.
All of me.
This site is a work in progress and I invite you along to witness the evolution, the birth of dreams, the laying aside of whatever doesn't ring true.
Welcome to Spirit Uncaged!