I am a procrastinator. Not about all things but about some things. When I procrastinate over the some things, all the things seem to be affected. I know this about myself but all the self awareness in the world doesn't change the simple fact that I am a procrastinator.
I avoid because I fear.
I fear taking on a task because it might be bigger than I realized and then it will take ALL of my time and there won't be any leftover for my creative projects.
I fear engaging in the creative project which might consume all of my time and energy. In my experience, my creative projects can be quite cathartic and healing. It's a little exhausting.
When I am deep in my creative energy, undone tasks taunt me and the fear wrapped around the consequences of avoiding those tasks.
I even procrastinate dealing with my procrastination because it is uncomfortable.
It's cyclical, circular.
Only I can stop the madness.
Now it's time for a little pep talk.
Just do the thing.
Do the one thing that will break the cycle.
Take the awareness of your patterns and engage.
I know it all feels chaotic right now.
You are good at this. You are good at managing the chaos.
Step into it.
Do the thing.
Manage the mayhem and all that energy will be available to you.
Wrangle it into submission to your will.
Get shit done.