another day comes

There’s only one day at a time here, then it’s tonight and then tomorrow will be today again.
— bob dylan, chronicles vol. 1

Whew. That was some blog post yesterday. I felt raw and split opened. For a few moments, I questioned putting it out there but I needed to for myself. I wrote to some friends yesterday,

I am compelled to throw all of this out there because I believe too often, we pull the shades down and hide what is real. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We don’t want to be judged for the bad, ugly isn’t pretty, and we don’t want to be judged for the good either. It’s messed up shit.

Authenticity is my driver. I have to be real or I won’t be at all.

I used to think that even if just one other person said, “me too” then it is all worth it ... and that is a wonderful thing ... but even if no one says, “Me too”, i have to tell my story. I don’t know how else to do this thing called life.

Physically, it wasn't a great day yesterday. By the afternoon my neck and head pain dulled and I was able to carry on with things I needed to do. Slowly, I began to feel almost normal. Then the end of the day gave me a beautiful sunset. 

I was reminded that it was just a day. It wasn't a great day but it was just a day. As my son says, "It's just a bad day not a bad life." It's easy to get lost in the bigness of pain or grief and think that it will never end, to think that life will always be like that. 

No. It's just a day and when that day comes, you only have to make it through the day. Maybe you only have to make it through the next hour or the next moment. 

I try to keep record of the good days and the good moments as a reminder that another day comes so that I don't get lost in what this moment is giving me. I also keep try to keep record of the days that seem too hard.  There are days that make me write words like this:

Looking back to those words from a place of sureness, I wonder what made me write that? Was it that bad? This I know. In the moment, it all feels that bad. So I look back and I hold those words with grace and love. I try not to judge those days for they are as much a gift as the good days. 

In this moment, I am being reminded of a small challenge I gave myself to quit using the labels good and bad. What if I didn't say this day was a good day and that day was a bad day. What if it were just a day? What if I let today be what it is without labels and live it all with the mercy, grace, and love? What if it I knew that I have this day today and then another day comes?