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the middle of the night is extremely quiet. I cannot sleep so I get up and spend the rest of the night downstairs on the couch. 

 

 

This makes for a jangled start to the morning. Coffee but no breakfast, rushed words, and out the door.

 

 

I was hot and hangry. But we did choose a few plants.

 

 

I have been saying that i am rewriting my brown thumb story. Actually, i am returning to the seven year old me who brought a pine tree home form Virginia and stuck it in the ground in my South Carolina backyard. It won't grow, they told me. But grow it did. For the next forty-five years and was still going strong when that property left our ownership. 

 

 

Many marriages end up in divorce after the death of a child. I can understand that. This is so challenging. Our communication is off most of the time. We walk just out of sync and then run into each other trying to catch up. 

 

 

I do not doubt that we will make it.  Just acknowledging that it is hard. 

 

 

Still there are so many good and wonderful moments with this man. and I cannot deny how hard he tries. 

 

 

I am body and heart sore today. So much so that I cannot rest. 

 

 

So I keep the body moving ... the mind moving ... waiting for exhaustion to take me to bed.