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I begin the day with coffee and wrangling words. 

 

yoga and tears. so many tears. It's child's pose that breaks me every time. 

 

he and I set a record at Costco for getting in and out so fast. 

 

I have lost my glasses twice today. Two pairs of glasses ( three if you count the sun glasses ) doubles my chances of losing them ... so many times. 

 

fourth day of the 100 day project and I'm feeling frustrated with the process. It seems like a day that nothing is going as it should. Pushing through is the whole point though. Showing up today and tomorrow and the next day. 

 

Thinking back on it, I am wondering if the problem is that I am trying to make the portals BE something instead of just making them. Trust, Cynthia, trust. 

 

Portals. a means of getting from here to there. Yes, yes, I understand. Where is here? Where is there? I think it is different for every person ... and different at different time for each person. This right now? This is my journey that is deeper and somehow higher at the same time.

 

guardians of the galaxy. I like the humor. 

 

but my mind is so easily distracted. somewhere toward the end of the movie, I started thinking about how Noah would have been twenty-one this year ... and that there will come a day that he would have been thirty ... and all of those birthdays will be celebrated without him. and I fight back the tears. There have been so many tears today.