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early early morning hours, like middle of the night morning hours, and I am awake waiting for one son to get home, trying not to worry, trying not to replay scenarios and devastating conversations. Soon he is home and fine but I am not. 


I am not sure I will ever get used to how worry has become my constant companion. I  never did before. they never had curfews. I always asked them to check in by text when they got home and I would sleep. I don't sleep now. I just wait. 


and the world has turned green. 
It is always amazing to me how one day I go outside and everything is bright green .... and not pollen green ... its the new life type of green. 


the rain is glorious today. I walk slowly through it and deliberately step in puddles and remember my kids playing outside on warm, rainy, days like these


a little planning with the man. Life has not slowed down hardly at all but some days do feel luxuriously expansive


rain and rain and more rain. we are safe and dry but I must move my video making to a quiet place than the porch. I settle into the back of the closet. 


uprooting and nerves and I talk so fast and forget what I want to say but I am proud because I show up in my perfectly imperfect way


breakfast for dinner. always the best


it is time for final touches on this day. wrap it up and call it done.