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The list tonight is foggy with a headache. 

 

 

A late night plundering through my grief and doubts made for a later, late morning. I do not want to get out of bed. So I stay there until late morning. 

 

 

Tears and frustration ( and the headache ) rise with me. This is no way to start a day.

 

 

My ideal day would wake with the sun and walk with the morning birdsong. I am not sure I believe in ideal days. It's been so long. 

 

 

a cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit, yogurt, and granola. and finally errands. Somewhere within those movements the frustration evaporates. 

 

 

I take my work to the coffee shop. No earphones so I can't fill each moment with something to think about. Instead, my hands stay busy and ideas begin to play in my mind. I am intrigued. I am almost whispering to myself and I am definitely smiling at myself. 

 

 

A few more errands and I am home again. The day feels like it should be over but it's not. I sit on the couch and stare blankly at Fixer Upper reruns. 

 

 

There are still more adult things to do. April 15th is around the corner and I must collect the needed data. 

 

 

In the end, there is usually a solution. But in the moment, it is difficult to remember that there is an end.