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It feels good to be seen. She sends me words about owls and witches. This exploration makes sense because Noah loved owls and he has opened this door for me. 

I'm practicing looking into a camera and telling my stories, saying my words. I'm blessed with people who let me learn out loud. 

 

I'm considering a daily habit tracker. I need some scaffolding. All the boxes scare me. What if I prove to myself that I can do this? What then? No more excuses.  

 

I lost the tape today. The entire box of all my little rolls of tape. These are the things that make me feel like I'm losing my mind. Then Molly walked in with her dog and I thought, "I need to hide the tape"  ( because he loves to eat it) and then I remmebered I hid it from him last week. And apparently from myself. 

 

We are right in the middle of my stomping grounds. He asked if I want to go by my childhood home. No. Not yet.  

  

Watery beer makes me feel like I'm fifteen again. I don't remember who bought us that six pack of Miller light. We tossed the bottles over the fence into the abandoned lot to hide our antics. I do remember puking. 

 

They play Pac man. We are all taking a trip down memory lane.  

  

Showing up to family. Not one thing on my to do list, on my bucket list, on my wish list matters more than my people. 

 

I'm lulled to sleep by raindrops and thunder.