| 00021 |

I wake up realizing that sleep came easier than I expected last night. Perhaps the enormity of the day blanketed me. 


 Shuffling around upstairs, getting dressed, biding time. I am not sure I am ready to greet the morning with others. 


I am reminded how much I loved to wake up super early when i visited my daddy. I would creep down the stairs and he would already be awake, sitting in his chair, reading the newspaper, drinking his coffee. I would sit on the corner of the couch near him, quiet. Words were not needed. Just being in his presence was enough. 


the time change means it seems later than it is. I need to get downstairs. 


Confusion washes over me as I reach the bottom step. Voices familiar but out of place. What is happening? 


My brother drove up to see me, to surprise me. I cry because my feelings overwhelm me. I've never done well with surprises. ( Cynthia likes to know what is going to happen next. We established that in Austin) 


I am so so so happy to see my brother, to sit beside him at the table for breakfast, to laugh at his puns and his corny jokes. 


Within hours, my nervous system is shot. It's been a really big weekend full of new and new again experiences, conquering fears and anxiety, loud music and lots of words. I am ready to go home.


Why is it so cold at back at home? It is tempting to turn around and head south again.