During the month of April, I am taking on the Blogging from A to Z challenge, writing twenty-six alphabet themed grief notes.
On August 17, 2017 my twenty year old son was killed in a car wreck. I am trying to be OK . . . we are all trying to be OK ... in a world where nothing is OK. I am reaching for what I know heals me ... creativity ... art ... writing. Stringing together words, thoughts, and questions.
In grief, your friends and your family come into focus.
Looking through a telescope, binoculars, a microscope, you adjust that little wheel, the images blurring, sharpening, blurring again, and finally you can see clearly. That is the experience of grief.
It changes your community, your circle of people.
because you can see clearly.
Far away friends are brought close. again and for the first time.
Friendships are stretched and tested and survive to maintain status quo
or deepen into many layers
or are found wanting and released.
Nothing is new.
Everything is magnified.
and your tolerance for bullshit is zero.
Family dynamics, always complicated, grow more so while it becomes simpler to see where your energy belongs and where it doesn't.
I release some ... again.
I embrace others.
I reach more for the relationships that give in return. I revel in getting to know these mighty women; where have you been all my life ... and then again, where have I been?
Family dynamics, always complicated.
Social medias be damned ... sometimes.
but it saved me
more friends and a bigger family.