when fifteen minutes is enough

Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.
— Marie Beynon Ray

my view.jpg

This is my view a good part of the day. Especially lately as I have been writing more, creating more, at this table. This is a make do studio space in the upper part of our living room. I moved here about six weeks ago after a failed attempt to be in a space near the kitchen. I've given my garage studio space to my son who is back home with us for awhile. So here I am. For a make do space, it works pretty well most of the time. 

It's louder. There's more interruptions. But it also allows me to be connected when I want to be. Sometimes my husband watches a television show and I work on something that doesn't require a lot of creative thought or concentration and we almost share the same space. I like my solitary work time but I also like not being isolated. 

Today is an exercise in showing up with no end game in mind. I don't have a topic to write about; I am working on staying true to my practice, to my devotion. Yesterday I wrote that I want to return to early mornings, at the table, coffee cup full, hands moving across the keyboard. Showing up to my words, my thoughts, my sifting through it all. 

So I am here this morning later than I want to be. It's not quiet. There's a conversation going on behind me in the dining room. I am sure it is about some sort of sports. I am trying to tune it out. They are being quite respectful and keeping the volume low. That's probably because my love is in there, keeping it held down a bit. Sometimes the conversations turn into debates and we are a family that loves to debate. We love to prove our point ... and we are usually proving our point very loudly. 

I love that about us. I love the passion. It's loud and boisterous around here. They've grown up in the midst of each other ... nine siblings ... nine incredible humans. They are used to raising the volume in order to be heard. They are used to interrupting. But they are also used to accepting their differences and honoring the varied ways they show up in the world. They teach me. 

This morning, I gave myself fifteen minutes. It's all I have this morning. It's enough. The challenge is to show up; make the most of these moments. Use what time I have instead of doing nothing but pining for more time.