taking root

This song is on every playlist I listen to lately. I listen to it, I sing it, I dance to it ... because oh my goodness, the ending of this song begs for stomping and jumping and beating the ground with your fists. 

I feel this song with every fiber of my being. I am a Gemini. A Libra Rising. Air and Air. My dosha energy is primarily vatta ... air. Frequently, I speak of how I am must keep myself tethered so that I don't float off into the stratosphere. It is why my soul chose this strong earth man that entwined with for the beginning and the rest of my life. 

Roots have been on my mind. 

This morning I contemplated how I am feeling so very much that I don't have my roots. I am a seedling. 

 Photo by  Markus Spiske  on  Unsplash

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

My wandering spirit pulls me up, time and again. I love that I chase after my interests so passionately, ever on the exploration road. But I have to wonder if I am keeping myself from being rooted, from taking hold, from growing deep so that I can mature, grow full and tall.

I recognize the self sabotage that I engage in. It's mindless. It's effortless. It's my default. What is the opposing movement and energy? If not sabotage, then what could I create as a new practice?

Pause for confession: I am a bit of a word nerd. I love to look up synonyms and antonyms and idioms and chase down etymologies. I am frequently equal parts fascinated and frustrated with what our language allows us to communicate. 

An antonym of sabotage is devotion. What if instead of  practicing self sabotage, I could practice self devotion. Thinking about that seedling that I am, instead of pulling myself up by the roots, what if I tended the growth?

These plant analogies come easily to me ... to she who has self proclaimed her brown thumb. I also declared last year that I would lean in and try. I would learn and fail and learn some more. Today, three house plants are taking root, still alive. As they are, so am I. 

To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul.
— simone weil