Glennon Doyle posted this photo and these words on December 31, 2017. Happy doesn't feel easy and on some days doesn't feel possible. I am trying my best to move into this year without the skewed perspective of grief weighing me down. I wish I could just choose happy and all would be well. Maybe by December 31, 2018, I will have a different perspective. Maybe happy will feel possible and easier.
But that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about who I need and who I want to be. Look at that photo. Pay attention to who is standing behind Glennon and Abby ... pay attention to the how of who she is.
She is ecstatic at what she is witnessing. She wants nothing but the very best for this couple. She is the cheerleader. My first reaction to seeing this photo wasn't about Glennon and Abby; it was about that woman in the background, cheering. I've been thinking about her ever since.
We need a cheerleader in our lives. We need that person who is going to raise her hands to the sky, throw her head back and yell, "YEAH Baby! You've GOT this!" We need LOTS of this person ... many champions of our lives.
Short and sweet, get yourself some cheerleaders. They aren't going to appear out of thin air. As much as I'd like to believe that I manifested my kindreds with the power of my mind, that's not how it happened.
Like any relationship, any connection, it takes work. It means being authentic and vulnerable. It means sharing your hopes and dreams. It means spending time, doing life, showing up in the strongest and weakest moments. You have to open the door and let people in.
It's scary, I know. You risk disappointment or being misunderstood or betrayal. That whole mean girls trope is a real thing. But I believe there is a greater possibility of calling in the truly wonderful people. The I've-got-your-back people. The cheerleaders.
It begins with you. It begins with being the person that you need. Open your eyes and allow yourself to see the good, the potential, the possibilities in that human being sitting across the table from you. Remember the kindness is always the best and first choice. Take every opportunity to remind another person of who they are. Celebrate the little things. The big things always get noticed but it's the day in and the day out that wears us down. Sometimes our biggest accomplishment is waking up, getting dressed, pouring a cup of coffee. Give out gold stars. and brownie points. and kudos.
And hey, while we are talking about it ... that right there that I just wrote ... the whole previous paragraph.
Practice that toward yourself. Be your own cheerleader. Believe in yourself. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate yourself.
It's all quite circular, I think. We become who we need and who we need comes to us which allows us to become who we need. Isn't that beautiful?