december reflections | thank you for

The day I found my smile again was when I stood in my own storm and danced with my tribe.
— shannon l adler

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How can I say thank you for all you have done for me, for all you have been to me? There will never be words enough to express my gratitude for how I have, we have, been loved and carried through the most difficult of times. It is more than that though. You have shown up in the midst of this storm but you have always been here right beside me. Sometimes I think it is easier to be present in the crisis ... to meet the urgent needs. It is more difficult to show up when all is well or after the storm has died down ... to continue to be there and be there and be there. 

I thank you for being there on the other side of a screen, receiving my frantic words and worry, and sending back your thoughts and your prayers. You may think it was nothing but it was powerful. When the texts and the messages come through now saying, "I'm thinking of you" ... that is a huge gift. It feels good to not be forgotten. 

I thank you for showing up in body, with hands carrying food and coffee and a cooler of drinks, and taking care of dishes and the daily things that I couldn't manage. I thank you for showing up even when I said that we were OK. You reached across an abyss and cared for us. 

I thank you for sending notes and cards ... still. The mail comes and the wishes come as well. You saw what I would need when I couldn't express it. You said, "I am here and I am listening and you can say all the awful things that you can't say to anyone else. I will hold them and release them"

I thank you for the stories you have shared with me, keeping memory strong when my own is digging through the fog of sorrow. 

I thank you for showing up to your own lives with integrity and authenticity. It is a joy to me to see you being in your life so well. I love seeing the magic you are making. 

I thank you for the compassion and grace and for taking me seriously when I say I need you to be real with me and call me out when I need to step out the door and away from the weight of too much grief. 

I thank you for being more than a healer of body. Your words of affirmation and acceptance have allowed for me to move through, one step at a time. 

I thank you for being strong but also gentle. I thank you for the love and light you bring to my life. I thank you for being my greatest teacher. 

These are feeble and few words that I have tonight to offer. My hope and my wish is that I will discover little ways to show my gratitude. Thank you.