spinning straw into gold

straw.jpg

I am so tired 
of trying to be clever
of thinking up catchy titles or subjects
of spinning my wheels 
going fast at something 
trying to make something 

relevant

wanted

needed

and if you don't need it
maybe I can convince you that you do
because that is the game


but my spinning wheels are not 
of the transport variety
I sit and weave straw into gold
I am an alchemist 
who believes that 
the everyday moments 
are the ones that truly glimmer
all else is fool's gold


I sat this weekend, snipping and clipping, 
borrowing images and words 
from those paying 
to grab my attention
so that I will feel less than
so that I will think 
that someone else
something else
has the the answers
the direction
that I am looking for


They don't tell me that I am lost
but they tell me that I can be found

if only

They don't tell me that I am fat
but they tell me that I can be skinny

if only

They don't tell me that I am too old
but they tell me all the ways that I can 
look and feel younger

if only


if only I will follow their rules
If only I will pay for the snake oil 
they are selling
If only


I am an alchemist 
weaving straw into gold
so I take the words and the images 
that they use to mold me, make me,
manipulate me
into the needy one
and I create my own advertising campaign
where there is no consumer
there is no product
there is only me
casting the vision
for myself


I know how I want to live
I know how I want to feel
I know who I am

I have always known

Cynthia LeeComment